Um.... ya

Well friends....
I really dont have much to say about my life right now because it sucks.
I just cant catch a break and i'm struggling.
I'll be back when things get better...

New Hobby! Yeah!

So last weekend my mommy taught me how to smock. Its when you pleat fabric and then.... I guess you'd say embroider on the pleats. It makes the fabric all stretchy and it was used as elastic before elastic was invented. Its usually on baby and little kid clothes.
Well, here is my first finished attempt at it. I'll probably use it for a baby bonnet. I think I did a really good job for the first time doing it.

I Wont See You Tonight

I Wont See You Tonight part one and two are two companion peices by Avenged Sevenfold. These songs are about suicide. The first part is from the point of view of the person committing suicide and the second part is about the people who have been effected by the suicide. I dont know how many people have to guts to write songs like this.... but they are powerful and insitefully. Yes, I have been effected by suicide. My elementary school friend, Kylie, committed suicide a year and a half ago.... I cant imagine losing someone that way again especially if they were a closer friend than Kylie was.

I Wont See You Tonight Part One

Cry alone, I've gone away
No more nights, no more pain
I've gone alone, took all my strength
I've made the change,
I won't see you tonight

Sorrow, sank deep inside my blood
All the ones around me
I cared for and loved

It's building up inside of me
A place so dark, so cold, I had to set me free
Don't mourn for me,
You're not the one to place the blame
As bottles call my name I won't see you tonight

Sorrow sank deep inside my blood
All the ones around me
I cared for and most of all I loved
But I can't see myself that way
Please don't forget me or cry while I'm away

Cry alone, I've gone away
No more nights, no more pain
I've gone alone, took all my strength
But I've made the change,
I won't see you tonight

So far away, I'm gone.
Please don't follow me tonight
And while I'm gone everything will be alright

No more breath inside
Essence left my heart tonight
No more breath inside
Essence left my heart tonight

I Wont See You Tonight Part Two

Come back to me, this is unconceivable
Breaking apart the ones you love
Hate runs deep for what you've done to us
Left alone through suicide...suicide

I just want to die, take away my life
lay by your side, please...

Come back to me, this is unconceivable
Breaking apart the ones you love
Hate runs deep for what you've done to us
Left alone through suicide

Look at my face you pierce with a blank stare
No dream could prepare a heart for a lifeless friend.
He's gone. Nothing will take back time.
I need him back, but nothing will take back time.

I can see just fine with you in my life,
there by my side as it starts to fade
I know this can't be right, stuck in a dream
a nightmare full of sorrow

Nightmare - full of pain [x2]

I look back and see the twisted road
Best friends and despair took its toll

Take away [x4]

Sorrow, sank deep inside my blood
all the ones around me, I cared for
and most of all I loved
but I can't see myself that way
please don't forget me
or cry while I'm away

Look at my face you pierce with a blank stare
No dream could prepare a heart for a lifeless friend.
He's gone. Nothing will take back time.
I need him back, but nothing will take back time.

I can see just fine with you in my life,
there by my side as it starts to fade
I know this can't be right, stuck in a dream
a nightmare full of sorrow

Haunted

This song is "Haunted" by Taylor Swift. I love this song. I can really relate to this song sadly... But I really love the string arrangement and I love this video because I like that Taylor gets so into the strings. It makes me happy!


"Haunted"

You and I walk a fragile line
I have known it all this time
but I never thought I'd live to see it break
It's getting dark and it's all too quiet
And I can't trust anything now
And it's coming over you like it's all a big mistake

Oh, I'm holding my breath
Won't loose you again
something's made your eyes go cold

Come on, come on, don't leave me like this
I thought I had you figured out
Something's gone terribly wrong
You're all I wanted
Come on, come on, don't leave me like this
I thought I had you figured out
Can't breathe whenever you're gone
Can't turn back now, I'm haunted

Stood there and watched you walk away
From everything we had
But I still mean every word I said to you
He would try to take away my pain
And he just might make me smile
But the whole time I'm wishing he was you instead

Oh, I'm holding my breath
Won't see you again
something keeps me holding on to nothing

Come on, come on, don't leave me like this
I thought I had you figured out
Something's gone terribly wrong
You're all I wanted
Come on, come on, don't leave me like this
I thought I had you figured out
Can't breathe whenever you're gone
Can't turn back now, I'm haunted

I know, I know, I just know
You're not gone. You can't be gone. No.

Come on, come on, don't leave me like this
I thought I had you figured out
Something's gone terribly wrong
Won't finish what you started
Come on, come on, don't leave me like this
I thought I had you figured out
Can't breathe whenever you're gone
Can't go back, I'm haunted

Oh

You and I walk a fragile line
I have known it all this time
Never ever thought I'd see it break.
Never thought I'd see it...

Ugh

Well, I cant think of anything positive to talk about right now other than Logan or Sayre and well they have been in like my last 5 posts so ya. I'm in one of THOSE moods.

I Just Have To Say.....

I LOVE BEING AUNTIE LESHIA TO LOGAN AND SAYRE.
I love these kids with all my heart and they make me so HAPPY and I love to spoil them.
They are both such amazing kids and love showing them off.
I'm such a proud auntie....

Miss Logan

Mr. Sayre

I just love these kids!!!!!! I dont want them to grow up!!!!!!!!!!!!! Please stay little!

HAPPY HAPPY DAY!!!!!!!!!!

So last night I met the awesomest person in the entire world........

SAYRE!!!!!!!!!!!!!! yay!


Dont judge the mask! He's 3 weeks old and its the middle of winter. I was totally cool with wearing it if it meant I got to hold him. We dont want him sick!!!! He is such an AWESOME little kid! Holy Cow.

So I got there and I showed Kimberly the blanket I made him. And she totally loved it.

I held him and he was TOTALLY cranky because he hadnt been able to eat all day. But Kaitlynn came over and saved the day with some formula! So he like CHUGGED that down and Dawn and I went to Walmart to get him some more formula. By the time we got home he was OUT like a light. I held him for probably 30 minutes but man he was so active for being asleep. I changed his position by himself... he's 3 weeks old and was asleep! He moved his arms around tons and was constantly changing position. It was so funny. He is such a wiggle worm. I was so sad when I had to give him back! He's like a perfect baby I swear!